Dec 29, 2007

This phase called "Terrible Twos"

Read an article on the "Terrible Twos" and found it useful as a reminder to me everyday. This is to remind me of a phase that Jon is going through. A phase which shapes his characteristics. A phase that his parents plays a big role. I won't call it "terrible"... its a "transistion".

Here's some of the points given in the article:
"... Ideal children do NOT always agree with their parents. Ideal parenting does not prevent the "Terrible Twos" -- it helps children navigate them..."

"... their early experiences are profoundly influenced by their physical states and by their environments (primarily their parents)..."

"...His task is to gain skill at making appropriate choices. To help him accomplish this, offer your son limited choices at every opportunity..."

"...He feels both the reassuring limits that you set and the freedom to exercise his power within those limits..."

"...I like to think of the process as similar to childbirth. Labor is a very intense experience. Pain, after pain, after pain eventually produces something beautiful-- a child is born. The episodes of oppositional behavior in "First Adolescence" are psychological labor pains -- one difficult situation, then another, and another, and as a result your son's own persona is being born psychologically. This is a beautiful (but difficult) time with a truly worthwhile result..."

Here's some excerpts from another article from the same site on how to manage tantrums:

"... The second major way that people deal with temper tantrums in stores is to give the children whatever they had the temper tantrums to get. Basically, this teaches kids that if they cry hard enough, or act out sufficiently, they will get whatever they want. We don't want to teach our children that either.

So, what does one do about temper tantrums? Try to avoid emotional storms whenever possible. Children are most susceptible to storms when they are tired, hungry, uncomfortable or bored. When possible, plan shopping for times when your child is rested, fed, and healthy. Interact with your son throughout shopping and/or bring along stimulating toys or books. ..."

"... Whatever you do, if your child had a temper tantrum to try to get something, don't give it to him, even if you would have ordinarily done so. Giving in to tantrums is what spoils a child. Giving in is the easiest, quickest solution in the short run, but it damages your child, prolongs this phase, and ultimately creates far more discomfort for you. Choosing your son's long-term gain over such dramatic short-term relief is part of what makes properly handling temper tantrums so heroic. ..."
ADVE
Well, I'm going to read the whole thing, again and again to remind myself that I play a big part in molding Jon's characteristics and it will be one of the most important roles I have to play in his life.

 

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